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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Living Your Essence – A Global Perspective



Why is it, with so much resource and opportunity in the world, the sheer volumes of information we have on the Internet, and the litany of spiritual venues available, that people would continue to be riddled with unhappiness and plagued by depression? Why do so many of us feel utterly powerless to make a significant difference in the world? Why does it seem like this mysterious force, "out there," is in charge of what's happening? And why do we continue to live in fear of one another? Most importantly, what can we do to overcome all of this?


On one hand, one may comment that the world seems like its spinning out of control; people killing people, a prevailing consciousness over the threat of terrorism, governments that act above and beyond true representation of the people, and economic decay that is creating its own sort of terror. We have had a significant event in history that has changed the way we think, and fear seems to be the prevailing force of our consciousness. Children have guns in schools and the most promising careers are made up of completely fabricated personas. Good virtue goes unheralded and unrewarded. We have reality television shows that reward unscrupulous behavior and exalt people who have no moral esteem. And as people do become aware of the world's problems, growing subsequently weary and stressed out as they realize the seemingly unworkable situation we are in, they are diagnosed with some type of stress disorder and sedated. To a large extent, we have been moving away from our personal empowerment and most of us have no idea how to regain control over life. And that is just the short list!


There is hope though, and that is the point! I want to share some things that have made a difference in my life and for thousands of others, and hopefully impart to you, it is indeed within your ability to be a major force in the world. It is possible to regain your emotional and spiritual health and be at cause in the universe - to live your Essence. We are part of a time now, in history, which is significant in many ways. The Internet has given us access to limitless forms of communication and cooperation, and Quantum Physics has grown up, showing verifiable proof of the similarities between science and spiritual philosophy. It's an exciting time for us as everything accelerates around us and the decisions we make as a people become more and more critical to the sustainability of the planet.


To paraphrase Einstein though, "we will never be able to solve the problems of our current situation from the same consciousness that created it." That is to say that fear cannot and will not overcome fear. You cannot fight terror with more terror; for all that does is compound the problem!


As we evolve, and our sense of discernment grows sharp, we must start to understand and take responsibility for our beliefs. Simply stated, our beliefs create the reality we live in. By allowing the burgeoning corporate interests and media empires to use propaganda, sensationalism, and psychological prowess to shape our opinions, we are living at the effect of what we see and experience on television. Quite frankly, our subconscious does not realize the difference between a real life experience and an experience it remembers from a picture.


In order to regain control, we have got to become more selective and fill our minds only with information that is useful and critical to our success!


Jack Trout, in his book, "Differentiate or Die," expounded upon the number of messages that come at us on a daily basis. It is estimated that the average individual is exposed to 30,000 messages on any given day; quite an astounding number. On one level, we have a filtering mechanism that allows us to function despite this full frontal attack of messaging, however on another level, we have very little defense, unless of course, we live in a cave somewhere. It is virtually impossible to escape the proliferation of "Consumerism" and thus, we need to take proactive measures to live within our Essence.


Health can be directly correlated to your ability to process and subsequently stand clear of negative thought. Conversely, we typically pay dubious attention to the negative stories that run us and subsequently persist in ways that will seemingly resolve these negative thoughts - such as listening to negative banter on the news. Each of us, face lessons in life that make us bitter or they make us better. The real trick is to take each obstacle and process both the pain and the wisdom that goes with it. As we resist these lessons, they become imbedded in our consciousness and make us unhealthy and negative - we start to chase conversations that validate negative data. The point is not to deny our experience, resist it, or try to overcome it, but rather to embrace it, asking questions and finding answers that facilitate the highest and best wisdom. The same goes for concepts and words that clog our minds with negative meanings and unclear outcomes.


True discernment is the ability to assert Choice. When you let your negative reactions dictate the way you feel and act, there is no Choice, only reactive behavior. This reactive behavior is the biggest problem we have. Life can certainly be lived reacting to everything that goes on around us. We can try to build walls to keep out the evil forces and put guards at the gates, but at the end of the day, you really have to ask yourself, how much energy is that going to take? You see, ultimately you can never have enough energy to fight off and react to the consciousness of fear and therefore, it is a losing struggle. This is the underlying reason for depression. The alternative is simply to discard the fear based thought and regain Creative Choice, the underlying nature of Essence. Therein lay the answer.


It would be a disservice though, to write at length about what Essence is, Lord knows, the religions have been trying this for Ions and that is fine. We feel the approach best taken to your own Essence is to allow you to stand clear of your reactive fear based thoughts and listen. Listen for what calls to you. Listen for the synchronicity that life hands you every day. Acknowledge the spectrum of Choice at hand and allow yourself to just be still. Everything you need to live the Essence based life is right in front of you, and that is a promise.





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Without Saying a Word "21 Ways to Say "I Love You"


You already know it's important for you and your guy to tell each other "I love you" - as often as possible. But you shouldn't depend on those three little words to let your one-and-only know what's in your heart. In fact, nonverbal displays of affection are often a better way to get through to the man in your life. "Guys tend to be action-oriented, so they feel less comfortable using words to express emotions," says REDBOOK Love Network expert and psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. "They've seen enough Tom Hanks movies to know they're supposed to always say 'I love you,' but they're not sure that words alone convey how they feel."


Ready to let what you do speak louder than what you say? We asked REDBOOK readers and the men in their lives to share some sweet ideas. Plus, we added in some expert tips on how to give your love a boost without uttering a word.


"Sometimes I 'write' a love message on my husband's breakfast toast. Using cookie cutters, especially my Valentine's Day set of hearts, I press one lightly into a slice of bread, just hard enough to imprint it, then I toast it. It never fails to bring a smile to his face."



ROMANCE, REVISITED


"Every now and then I leave a card saying how much I love and appreciate him under his pillow for him to find before he goes to sleep." -Cim Collins, Springfield, IL


"My wife, Leigh Anne, sometimes has to travel for work, and when she gets home, I give her a small gift for every day she has been gone. I'll set them on the kitchen table and wait for her to notice them - things like her favorite perfume, fresh flowers, or a cool piece of handmade jewelry. I love to spoil her!" -John Montgomery, Birmingham, AL


"I place special little love notes, cartoons, jokes, or small articles - sometimes racy ones - in her underwear drawer. She never knows what to expect next. She gets a big kick out of them and knows it is my way of saying I love her." -Joe Cirillo Jr., Englewood, FL


"When I take a shower at night, I write messages on the fogged-up mirrors so they appear when he takes a shower in the morning before he goes to work."



MAKE LIFE A LITTLE EASIER


"My husband puts toothpaste on my toothbrush and leaves it lying on the sink for me every night before bed. He is the sweetest husband ever!" -Lisa Wilkes-North, Heath, TX


"I scour the TV listings for his favorite movies or a sporting event that I know he'd love to watch. I TiVo it without telling him, then surprise him with it on Saturday morning. Bonus: While he's on the couch, I've just bought myself some me-time. Manicure, pedicure, here I come!" -Cindy Panowicz, Grand Island, NE


"Before my husband leaves for work, he sets the table for my breakfast. He lays out a bowl for cereal, a cup for orange juice, strawberries, a napkin, and a spoon. For a big, manly union guy, this is a really major step!" -Patricia Armstrong, Danvers, MA


"I love that my husband gets up every morning when I do. His job doesn't start till 9, so he could easily sleep later than me, but he doesn't. While I get ready, he gets our three kids dressed and loads them into the van with their backpacks. To me, this is one of the best ways he can say he loves us all." -Jeanette Dominguez, El Paso, TX


SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION


"We brag about each other when we're out with our friends - even if it's about something little, like, 'Oh, Barry had the best idea the other day' or 'Barry fixed the whatsit that's been leaking!'" -Jennifer Starr, Columbus, OH


"For Christmas, I bought a dictionary and went through it, highlighting all the definitions that describe him or remind me of him." -Jaynee Germond, Roseburg, OR


"Every morning before I get up, he leaves two folded towels in the bathroom for me for when I take a shower - one big towel for my body and a smaller towel for my head." -Amy Rossi-Espagnet, Atlanta


• EXPERT CHALLENGE: SHOW HIM YOUR GRATITUDE WITH A BEAR HUG
"The number one complaint I hear from guys is they feel like they don't get rewarded for the things they do, only told what they didn't do. Next time your man takes out the trash without being asked or starts the coffee pot for you in the morning, reward him with a 30-second full-body hug. Guys are so physical - it's easy and teasy." -Toni Coleman


"In the wintertime I start my husband's car in the morning so it will be toasty warm for him on his way to work."




HIGH-SPEED SIGNS OF DEVOTION


"I changed the banner on his cell phone to read 'I Love You' when he wasn't looking!" -Becky White, Newton, AL


"My husband and I send each other short e-mails to say what we are thinking about at that very moment. Once, he wrote me, 'The new Brad Paisley song makes me think of you.' Now every time I hear it on the radio, I'm reminded how much my husband loves me." -Michelle Magnetti, Colorado Springs, CO


"My husband gets up at 5:30 a.m., but he pulls his dresser drawers open the night before so the noise of them opening and closing won't disturb me. Now, that's love!" -Connie Maynord, Bastrop, TX


SEND A SECRET MESSAGE


• EXPERT CHALLENGE: POINT THE WAY
"Here's a suggestive sign he can't miss: Leave a trail of Post-it notes in the hallway with arrows on them leading all the way to the bedroom." -Joyce Morley-Ball, Atlanta psychotherapist and author of Seeds for the Harvest of a Lifetime.


"Every time we kiss, we do it three times, which stands for 'I love you.' When my husband pulls out of the driveway in the morning, I stand at the door while he sets off the emergency light on his truck, also three times for 'I love you.'" -Peggy Clayton, Dubuque, IA


• EXPERT CHALLENGE: DRAW HIM A MAP
"Use your eyeliner to give yourself a temporary tattoo - an arrow that starts at your navel and points down. Remember: Men are very visual!"




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Sound? Listen to Your Car



A moving car is a complex symphony of sound, most of it reassuring - tires humming, engine rumbling, tailpipes roaring. But every now and then a dissonant note creeps into the mix - and the alert driver's ears prick up: Did you hear that?


Here's a guide that identifies those oddball sounds and helps you sort out which conditions you can let slide and which ones mean repairs - and how fast you need to make them.


HUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMP
Where: From one or more tires.
When: At low speeds, especially in the morning. Speeds up with car.
What: Flat-spotted tire. As the tire rotates the flat spot thumps on the ground. Nylon-cord tires will flat-spot overnight and make this sound until they warm up. It's usually worse in colder weather. You can permanently flat-spot the tires by locking up the wheels, grinding massive amounts of rubber off the tread in one spot.
Urgency: Nada.
Fix: Replace your nylon tires with steel-belted tires. If you've ground down your tires like a pencil eraser, you can either live with the vibration until wear reduces the flat-spotting, or buy new tires.


FFFFffff ttttFFFF ffff ttttFFFFffff tttt


Where: Under the hood.
When: Most noticeable at idle.
What: An exhaust manifold gasket has failed, venting hot exhaust gases to the air.
Urgency: It's not getting better on its own. The blowtorch of corrosive gases will eventually damage the manifold. Oh, by the way: Carbon monoxide from the leak may make you drowsy or dead.
Fix: Replace the exhaust manifold gasket before the leak eats a hole in the manifold.


Ticktickticktick
Where: Under the center of the car, toward the rear.
When: While in motion and varying with road speed.
What: U-joint (rwd or 4wd only). A U-joint in your drive shaft has finally run out of grease, is getting loose, and is about to fail.
Urgency: That's really just an urban legend about cars pole-vaulting over broken driveshafts when U-joints fail at speed, right?
Fix: Replace all the U-joints and keep the new ones greased regularly.


EEEEEEEeeeee
Where: Inside the wheels.
When: Slowing down; it's sometimes worse on damp days.
What: Your brake pads are stroking the discs like a violin bow.
Urgency: Sometimes they do that. Your brakes still work fine.
Fix: Try new pads, adhesive to hold pads to the piston, or shims to insulate the piston from the pads. Another option: earplugs. (Sometimes the sound is difficult to eliminate.)


SSSSSSSSSSSS
Where: Under the hood.
When: Anytime the engine is running, but it's most noticeable at idle speed.
What: Vacuum leak. A rubber or plastic vacuum line or fitting has split or fallen apart.
Urgency: If you're wondering why your Check Engine light is on and why your car idles poorly, this is probably why.
Fix: Reconnect or replace the line.


Clang
Where: Under the center of the car or truck, near the middle.
When: Starting off at traffic lights. Most often heard on pickups with automatic transmissions, not manuals.
What: The splines that allow the driveshaft to change length where it connects to the tailshaft are binding as you slow down and then releasing when you start off.
Urgency: Annoying, but They All Do That - or at least some of them do it some of the time.
Fix: Packing the spline area with special grease helps for a month or so. Or just sell the car or truck.


ThunkThunkThunk
Where: One or both front corners of the vehicle.
When: Going around slow, sharp corners under light throttle.
What: A CV joint that allows your front wheels to turn and still be powered is loose. The boot has failed and let out all the CV joint's grease, or maybe it's just time for it to wear out.
Urgency: Don't leave town. Don't use a lot of throttle around sharp turns. Your car will stop suddenly when the joint completely fails.
Fix: Replace the entire off ending half-axle.


CLUNK
Where: Front end.
When: Initially, when parking; eventually, over small bumps.
What: The ball joint that connects the suspension arm to the upright has lost its lubrication and the metal-to-metal contact is wearing it out.
Urgency: Make an appointment. Avoid bumpy roads, curbs, and potholes.
Fix: Replace the ball joint.


GrumbleGrumble
Where: Front of the car.
When: At idle. (Check for weeping coolant at the bottom of the water pump, too.)
What: Water pump bearings.
Urgency: When the bearings fail completely, the fan will pull forward and slice a nice big smile-shaped chunk out of the radiator, making it leak profusely.
Fix: You need a new pump.


Yyyyoooooowwwwrrrrrrr
Where: Under the hood.
When: Whenever you rotate the steering wheel all the way to the left or right steering stop and hold it there.
What: The pressure relief valve inside the pump is dumping excess power-steering hydraulic fluid back into the reservoir. It's supposed to do that, although maybe a little more quietly.
Urgency: No big deal.
Fix: It's normal. Actually, you should check the level of power-steering fluid in the pump. Don't hold the wheel hard on the stop like that; it annoys pedestrians and is tough on the belt.


YEEEEeeeeeaaaaawwwppp
Where: Under the hood.
When: Right after startup, until you rev the throttle a couple of times and the rubber warms up.
What: Belt squeal. A loose or glazed belt, bad tensioner, or misaligned pulley.
Urgency: Make an appointment, and don't take a long trip. This won't go away on its own - until just before the belt fails.
Fix: Check belt tension and pulley alignment; replace the belt.






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