Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Relationship protocol..

Alone Time Relationship Good or Bad?.
My friend has been dating her boyfriend for about two and a half years. Over that time, he has basically convinced her that if she really loves him, she'll spend all her spare time with him. At the beginning, I thought it was fine because it was new, but now, he still gets upset and offended if she goes for a night out with the girls (even if it's just dinner and a movie). She ends up having to explain herself and defend her love for him, and it usually results in a fight.

We've talked about it and she told me that he says when two people love each other, they should want to spend all their time together or else it's not "true love." I don't agree, but am I wrong? Isn't it normal to want some alone time or time with your friends without being made to feel like a bad girlfriend? Can you truly love someone and still want some time away from them?

You're not going crazy. It's partly true that when you're in love you probably want to spend all the time in the world with that other person, should you? No. Everyone needs their time, time with family, time with friends, and time alone period. Without that, you lose who you really are as an individual. I gave/am giving my gf her space, and she called me earlier after class and basically told me that me understanding and respecting that she needs some space, and that I was giving her that space made her even more in love with me. Everyone needs their space to be themselves.


Fighting about money?
Near 43 percent of couples fight about money. When you're having to learn to love the simple life again and cut back on your frivolous spending, it's easy to be on edge — especially if your money woes are ruining your sex life!

Of course this recession is affecting everyone differently so tell me, is money a topic of conversation that lends itself to an argument these days?

Depression and Stress:family Affair

What they all have in common is stress, a condition that results when a person perceives that they do not have the resources or ability to cope with a situation. When this occurs, stress and depression enter in to a dance, meaning, individuals who are both depressed and stressed have a similar biochemical profile: fatigue, a depressed immune system, or decreased creativity. Because of this, if you deal with one, it helps to “disable” the other.
Mind-Body ConnectionRecent research has shown that babies of stressed mothers have lower birth weight and an increased propensity to be obese. Research has also revealed that the brains of depressed individuals have reduced nerve growth in the pre-fontal cortex—the conscious thinking brain. Because of this, depression may make you less mentally competent in various ways, such as being more forgetful, or finding it harder to complete tasks.
De-stress to “de-depress”Depression and stress may be a family affair, but it can take a village of strategies to manage them. Here, some get-started steps to disengage from these unwelcome visitors:
• If negative thinking or a stressful situation or relationship is at the core of your depression, the good news is that there’s a lot you can do about it.
The first step is awareness; become aware of what is causing your depression. To begin, listen to your self-talk. What beliefs do you have that feed your negative “mind chatter?”

Are you overly critical of yourself or your prospects?
• When you become aware of a negative thought or a depressed feeling, consider looking at the other side of the issue.

By considering both the positive and negative aspects of a situation, your thinking will become more balanced. In turn, you’re likely to realize you’re not stuck; that you have choices.

• At least once every day, do something you really enjoy.
Perhaps one of the most effective (and documented) ways to de-stress and “de-depress” is to exercise regularly. Other lifestyle strategies include incorporating a contemplative practice in your life, such as meditation or yoga, eating well and healthfully, and connecting with friends and family. Giving to others and expressing authentic feelings to a caring person also are proven strategies for replacing stress and depression with a satisfaction-filled life. EmpowHer expert and writer, Deborah Kesten, MPH, offers still more suggestions in her article, “B” Wise to Beat the Blues."

Relx lifestyle

More and more studies are revealing that if you’re an adolescent girl, you’re at greater risk for being depressed than if you are an adolescent boy.
A sampling:
• Pre-adolescent boys and girls have about the same low level of depression. But when they reach puberty, depression in girls increases well above that for boys.
• Poor social relationships is a key reason depression is higher for adolescent girls than boys.
• Another related factor is low self-esteem. Poor social support combined with low self-esteem increase the chances of getting depressed when faced with stressful situations or negative life events.