Sense of Entitlement

I was indulging in an episode of Judge Judy when I heard an incredible example of a problem that I believe is ruining our homes, workplaces, and our very culture.

A mother, at the end of her rope, was suing her 24-year-old son for repayment of over $4000 she had loaned him (worse, from her credit card) to buy a car. She'd forgiven the first two car loans she had made him from her life savings, but now the credit card bills were pouring in. His impressive defense: "She owed this to me because the last car she bought me was a piece of (deleted)!"

This lovely gentleman's attitude? Entitlement.

We expect young children to want what they want when they want it. But it doesn't stop there.

"Everybody else is..."
"They all have..."
"If you really loved me..."
Teenagers are notorious for expecting the best of everything, despite parents' financial realities. Too often parents are guilted into trying to meet every perceived need or into rescuing their troubled children instead of teaching responsibility.

Many adults whimper at the slightest inconvenience, delay, or restriction. Why? Because, like toddlers, they are convinced they deserve what they want when they want it.

Many of our workplaces are also poisoned with attitudes of entitlement.
In my work with organizations across the country, I hear words that are telltale symptoms.

"What have they done for me lately?"

"This company owes me more than this as an annual raise. After all, I put in my eight hours a day." (Never mind performance.)

"They're not being fair."

(Would you like a little cheese with that whine?)
Let's be honest with ourselves; it may not just be "they". I'd like to inject realistic, healing ideas to inoculate us all from that poisonous "you owe me" disease.

LIFE'S NOT FAIR; GET USED TO IT
A seminar participant told me, "The only fair in life is a carnival." I believe it. Things don't always happen the way you planned. People don't always treat you the way you think you should be treated. Someone else may have more than you, though you believe you tried harder.

Don't go to pity parties or get bitter every time you don't get what you think you deserve. That's a recipe for misery. Stay out of the endless pursuit of "justice". Don't destroy yourself by an obsession with evening the score. Instead, determine to keep playing fairly with others and doing the right thing, no matter what others choose to do.

GET OUT OF THE VICTIM ROLE
"Chronic victims" are a pain to others and themselves. I'm not talking about people who have been legitimately victimized, yet they work hard to deal with it and move on. Chronic victims are chronic blamers and complainers.

When you hear yourself bemoaning your life, habitually blaming others for your troubles, it's time to do a "response-ability" check. In what ways do YOU have the ability to improve the situation by responding differently?

THE WORLD DOESN'T OWE YOU; YOU OWE THE WORLD
"The world owes me" is a false premise. We have so many life-giving, life-enhancing resources and opportunities at our disposal. These are gifts. They deserve our gratitude, not our indifference. What better way to show our gratitude than to give back? I believe that we are each called and personally equipped to make a difference in this world.

Rather than complaining, let's live the words of Mohandas Gandhi: "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."

Personal Development

Achieve Your Potential: Five Things You Can Do in Five Minutes
If you are reading this article, however you found it; I know something about you. You have an interest in your own improvement, or the improvement of those you lead. You have a desire, perhaps even a burning one, to assimilate new information in hopes that the new information will improve your results.

If you are reading this you are a learner, and you want to get better.

How do I know that?

It's easy. Most people don't take the time to find material like this. Most people show, through their actions that they are complacent - happy with their skills and results. Sadly, most people don't read.

So congratulations! You meet a criterion important for unleashing your potential, because you search for ideas, approaches, techniques, tips and tools.

Now that I have congratulated you, let me tell you a secret.

It isn't enough.

There is a big difference between knowing of a tool, owning it and using it.

Owning a hammer doesn't get the nail through the board.

Knowing how to drive the nail straight doesn't get that new picture hung.

There is a big difference between seeing how an idea will work, being inspired to make it work, and doing it.

The difference, of course, is action.

If we want to make progress, if we want to get better, if we want to unleash our enormous potential, we must take action.

I know that there can be a lot in our way - pressing business matters, an already overflowing plate of work, issues and challenges away from work. I'm sure you are like me - you have ideas from the last workshop you attended, five notes from the article you read last week and two ideas spawned from the book you finished last month. And they just sit there.

At some point they move from being a motivating thing, to a negative one - ideas sitting there, growing stale, weighing on our mind because we aren't getting them done.

Guess what?

You can't take action on all of those ideas today or tomorrow.

But most of us stop there, somewhat stymied by the list, immobilized by not knowing where to start.

If you want to change that, read on.

What's next?

Don't read the rest of this unless you are ready to invest five minutes after you finish reading it. If you don't invest that time, this article and the ideas it spawns will just add to the list.

Seriously.

Commit to yourself that you will spend five minutes taking action on the advice provided below before you do anything else.

Five Things in the Next Five Minutes

1. Tell yourself you can't do everything you want.You can't. But don't let this fact stop you. Because while you can't do everything, you can do anything. You must choose.

2. Make a quick list.
List the ideas, tools, techniques or approaches that you have been thinking about wanting to do something with. Maybe it is an idea you recently read, maybe it is a workshop you want to attend, or a project you want to try - whatever those things are, write them down on a quick list. It doesn't have to be pretty or complete, just get your ideas down. Now.

3. Pick one.
One thing on the list will stand out to you. One will be calling your name. One will be exceptionally motivating. Pick it.

4. Determine a first action.
Decide what the first thing is that you need to do to put this idea, approach or tool into action. This first step isn't huge. It should be something you can do today, regardless of how busy your schedule is. If the step seems too big, break it down some more.

5. Do it. Today. (Now is even better).

Keep it Going
After you have done these five things (you have now, right?) there are two more things to do, and these two can be done in a flash - far less than the five minutes you just invested.

A. Decide a next action.

B. Commit to completing the next action.These steps will change your life if you DO them. That is the point of this article after all. In the end, it isn't about knowledge, ty

Tips for a Healthy and Happy Mind

If we are lucky we will see more than 27,000 days. We spend a good portion of these days caring for, considering and supporting our physical body... getting enough sleep, eating right, staying active, drinking water, scheduling regular medical check ups, brushing and flossing, taking vitamins and caring for our skin, hair and nails. But, what have you done to care for your mind today? You've heard the saying, "You are what you eat." I say...

You Are What You Think!
The amount of time you spend reveling in wonderful moments of joy, contentment, inspiration, laughter, love and learning... will be directly proportional to your health, happiness, success, satisfaction, productivity and fulfillment!

Maintain a healthy outlook through the power of a positive thought!

1. Cleanse the Soul.
For the same reason you wouldn't go a week without a shower, you shouldn't keep a week's worth of mind clutter stored up in your grey matter. Do easy meditations daily in the shower to clear your mind, open yourself up to new opportunities and prepare for a simply fantastic day!

2. Brush Up.
Do a daily affirmation twice each day in the morning and at night when you are brushing your teeth. Say it aloud through toothpaste suds or silently in your mind, "I am masterfully creating my ultimate life. Success and health (or sub in what you desire) comes naturally to me."

3. Be Active.
Don't just stand around and let life happen to you. Every time you walk to the car, think about tiny actions you could take to move you closer to achieving what you truly desire. Keep a notebook to jot them down before you start up the engine. Watch each baby step start to exponentially propel your life forward.

4. Dress Up.
Just as you might think ahead or lay out your wardrobe for an important meeting or date, prepare your mind for important events. Focus on how you want to feel and set your intentions and be very specific on what you'd like to accomplish.

5. Buckle Up For Safety.
It's the law. Expect that you will experience life mishaps, tragedy, injury and unfairness. You can safeguard against emotional distress by getting in touch with your true self. Choose how you want to feel, how you would like to handle difficult situations and think before you let fear, worry or panic creep in. It's your choice.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

6. Preventative Prescription.
A vitamin a day keeps the self doubt away. Honor yourself and recognize all that you are. When something has gone well, applaud yourself and enjoy it! Don't dwell on what you could have done to improve it or what you would do differently next time. We all make mistakes. Learn and grow from them but remember to enjoy and relish in even your smallest achievements too!

7. Bless Your Meals.
Just as you might say grace or spend an extra moment going around the Thanksgiving table to express what you are thankful for, find the good in your life and be thankful for it. Adopt an attitude of gratitude at dinner time.

8. Sleep Tight.
Take your last waking moments before you drift off to sleep to focus on something that inspires you. Read inspiring literature, listen to soothing music or breathe in a delightful aroma. You will feel happier and wake up more content when you close your day with inspiring thoughts and feelings.

Use the daily rituals that you normally spend taking care of your body to also care for your mind. How important is your physical shell if you don't have a sharp, positive, encouraging and affirming mind to perfectly blend with it? Fill your mind with hopeful, positive and uplifting thoughts and you will bring about more success, abundance, health and happiness.

Your days are numbered so fill them with more joy, smiles, fun and simple happy essentials that you can stream into your life.