"Is Santa real?

When kids want the lowdown on Santa

When it comes to answering the inevitable question "Is Santa real?" figuring out the best way to handle it on the spot can be tricky.

Will ignoring the question for too long lead to playground ridicule, or will telling the kids the truth too early deprive them of a fun tradition?

We asked two psychologists and parenting experts - Maureen O'Brien of DestinationParenting.com, and Active Parenting Publishers' Michael Popkin - for the best ways to ensure Santa doesn't bring tears instead of gifts this season. Here are their tips:

QUESTION THEIR QUESTION: "First, find out what they really want to know. Ask them why they want to know or what they think. Saying, 'Well, it happens overnight, so we don't see it,' can easily put off more questions for another year." - O'Brien

TIMING IS EVERYTHING: "It's critical. If your child seems like they're really moving to the nonbeliever side, talk to them after the holiday." - O'Brien

DON'T OVERSTATE THE ISSUE: "It's not that you have to sit down and have a family meeting about it. It doesn't have to be that serious. What you want to do is engage them in being an ally." - O'Brien

COMPARE SANTA TO THEIR FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: "Nowadays with books like 'Harry Potter' being so popular, talk about magic and fantasy. It just helps them have that sense of imagination and when they think about other things that they don't necessarily believe in but still really enjoy." - O'Brien

EXPLAIN THE HISTORY OF SANTA: "Say, well, you know it really did start with a person, and go into the whole fable. It's a way to bridge the possibility that the child might feel misled. It's important to tell them you didn't make it up out of nothing." - O'Brien

ENCOURAGE THEM TO KEEP THE SECRET: "Explain that this is a good kind of a secret to keep. Involve them in things like leaving food under the tree. When they feel like part of the fun, they don't feel the need to spill the beans to younger children." - O'Brien

FOCUS ON THE IMPORTANCE OF GIVING: "When they get to 6 or 7, they're old enough to know that it's make-believe but can also understand that Santa represents the broader spirit of giving." - Popkin



A JOLLY OLD SHELF: THE ST. NICK READING LIST

Whether you want to preserve the myth for another year or let them down gently, here are four books that will help you along.

Santa Claus by Rod Green (Atheneum, $19.95): This encyclopedia of everything Santa gives pint-size believers a behind-the-scenes tour of how Santa gets his work done every year.

Santa's Secrets Revealed: All Your Questions Answered About Santa's Super Sleigh, His Flying Reindeer, and Other Wonders by James Solheim (Carolrhoda Books, $16.95): Preserve the myth a little longer with this book about a boy who publicly declares that Santa is a fake, only to get a visit from the man himself.

Santa, Are You For Real? by Harold Myra (Thomas Nelson, $7.99): For parents who don't want to break the news themselves, this book busts the Santa myth in a lively poem that tells the truth while focusing on the true story of St. Nicholas and the spirit of giving.

The Autobiography of Santa Claus by Jeff Guinn (Penguin Group USA, $12.25): St. Nick "himself" describes the facts, fantasy and folklore behind his own story and other popular holiday traditions.