Merry &Happy Christmas

Merry & Happy ChristmasTalking to Kids About Santa…and Everything Else
Raising a child means having a lot of difficult conversations. And this time of year, one of the toughest involves Santa Claus.
For families that celebrate Christmas, Santa represents the magic and innocence of childhood. Talking about whether he is real can result in sadness, a sense of loss and questions for both parents and child.
A mother I know recently recommended a book to help with the inevitable tough talks every parent faces. “How to Say It to Your Kids,'’ by Paul Coleman, is like having a family therapist when you need him. Dr. Coleman, known on the Oprah circuit for his advice on marriage and family, tackles 100 tough topics and offers the right words for parents to consider when talking to their kids. A book can’t possibly give you all the answers, but it does offer guidance and reassurance about your own instincts.
The problem with the Santa conversation is that it crosses into so many difficult areas. It raises fears about growing up, leads to worry (will Christmas be ever be the same?) and leaves children confused about why a parent lied to them. Dr. Coleman notes that children have varying reactions to the conversation, ranging from feeling proud that they figured it out to feeling confused and betrayed.
Dr. Coleman says it’s fine to reinforce Santa when a child obviously wants to believe. He also notes that when a child finds out the truth, it’s important that parents don’t immediately change their holiday traditions. He told the story of a father who involved his oldest child in the gift buying. But the child wasn’t enthusiastic, and the father finally realized that his son still wanted to pretend but couldn’t if he accompanied his father on shopping trips.
Dr. Coleman deals with far more than Santa in his book. Topics include death, dawdling, chores and perseverance and, of course, issues involving sex and growing up. But for now, I needed him for the Santa talk. When my daughter raised the issue with me this Christmas, I told her the truth. Santa is real as long as you believe in him.